Neil Young famously sang “It’s better to burn out than to fade away. “
Well, right now I feel burned out like a candle burning at both ends. Or the ashes at the bottom of a fire. A book of matches, or a…. ah, just forget it.
While I have no regrets, I do have a few questions and possibly some concerns. To what point is it advisable to push the human body? And at what point is this process counterproductive?
Admittedly, I have a difficult time self-regulating. Maybe some of my readers can empathize. Surely they can sympathize. It can’t just be me, can it?
Sometimes I get all these ideas in my head and all I want to do is create-create-create.
As if I could only make enough things, then I could get “It” out of me.
“It” is my special drug.
I am always chasing “It”. I am always trying to show people what “It” is. “It” wears me out but there is nothing to be done about it.
Even at this moment I should be getting ready for work tomorrow. That’s what the clock says anyways. But here I am at my keyboard again just smashing away. My little obsession.
The process is a peculiar thing though because sometimes, if only for a moment, you are successful. The stars align and you can see “It”, right there, in front of you. You feel happy and fulfilled; like you are walking on a cloud.
But then “It” eventually fades away, (always does), like grains of sand through your fingertips. And then you’re back to square one. Just a man with a pencil and a blank piece of paper, or a woman with a chisel, or… anyways you get my point.
Once you understand “It” then you have to ask yourself…
“Was Young right?”